Episode 23
Establishing Boundaries: Embracing Core Values for Personal Growth with LaToya Nashae
Growing up in a community that stifled individuality, LaToya Nashae's journey took an unexpected turn when she discovered the transformative power of core values and boundaries. Her profound revelation sparked a passion to guide others through their own self-discovery and boundary-setting. But little did she know, the impact of her journey would reach far beyond her own experience. What she didn't realize was that her newfound awareness would lead to a ripple effect, touching the lives of countless individuals seeking to navigate the complexities of personal development and relationship-building.
My special guest is LaToya Nashae
LaToya Nashae is a seasoned life coach who brings a refreshing perspective to personal growth and relationship dynamics. With her down-to-earth style and genuine empathy, LaToya helps individuals strengthen their self-awareness and set healthy boundaries. Her expertise lies in nurturing authenticity and defining core values, making her a go-to mentor for those seeking to navigate life's complexities. LaToya's passion for fostering positive change creates a supportive environment that encourages personal development and the establishment of meaningful connections.
Everything hinges on identity. It is the compass of our faith that aligns with the Holy Spirit to fulfill the father's will. - Laquita Monly
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Embracing core values for personal growth and fulfillment.
- Establishing boundaries to create a safe and respected space.
- Nurturing maturity and discernment for healthier relationships.
- Valuing what's valuable for a more meaningful life.
- Cultivating a safe space for personal and collective well-being.
Recognizing and Prioritizing What Truly Matters in Life
A life focused on what truly matters offers purpose and fulfillment. This first key value encourages individuals to identify their passions, purposes, and priorities. By recognizing what's truly valuable in life, one can invest time and energy effectively. This personal insight leads to balanced living and facilitates personal and professional growth.
Cultivating a Strong Foundation through Defining Core Principles
The second key value is about establishing a strong foundation built upon clearly defined core principles. Understanding one's personal values helps in making decisions aligned with our principles, driving personal satisfaction. This cultivates an enriching and empowering environment that propels forward movement towards constant growth and improvement.
Establishing Clear Boundaries to Nurture a Secure and Supportive Environment
The third key value emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries based on personal values, creating a secure, supportive environment. Boundaries established based on what's valuable, safeguard our peace and foster healthy relationships. This value teaches the importance of self-respect, cultivating environments that appreciate personal worth and promote holistic well-being.
The key moments in this episode are:
00:00:05 - Redefining Success
00:03:39 - Overcoming Technical Difficulties
00:06:35 - Journey to Speaking
00:12:00 - Purpose and Identity
00:14:45 - Valuing What's Valuable
00:16:45 - Valuing Peace and Boundaries
00:20:40 - Importance of Overflow
00:23:02 - Reciprocity in Relationships
00:29:01 - Authenticity and Accountability
00:32:55 - Recognizing Toxic Relationships
00:34:13 - Judging Based on Success
00:35:08 - Embracing Accountability and Growth
00:36:32 - Falling in Love with Potential
00:42:40 - Placing People Strategically
00:50:51 - Creating Your Own Safe Space
00:51:06 - Creating a Safe Space
00:51:39 - Part Two Coming Soon
00:52:06 - The Power of Identity
00:52:28 - Introduction to "Redefining Success"
Other episodes you'll enjoy:
1.Surrendering to God's Will: Empowering Entrepreneurs to Make a Difference
https://player.captivate.fm/episode/67da3da6-40bb-4b7d-8a72-8ac64f08ad12
2. The Power of Publicity: How to Leverage the Media to Increase Your Credibility :
https://player.captivate.fm/episode/95ff736b-2b13-40d8-ba74-8da656fba83e
3.Mastering Streaming TV for Small Business Entrepreneurs with Zondra Evans
https://player.captivate.fm/episode/b945aec4-034a-4f8d-ade3-524a07233794
Connect with me here:
- https://www.linkedin.com/company/laquita-s-toolbox/
- https://www.facebook.com/groups/1559496044240163
- https://www.youtube.com/LMonleyToolbox
- https://www.laquitamonley.com/laquitastoolbox
- https:www.twitter.com/laquitamonley1
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Transcript
God, breathe promise that manifests as our
Speaker:success. Hello, I'm Laquita Monwey and I'm
Speaker:the author of Redefining Success eight
Speaker:tools that I use to develop a growth
Speaker:mindset in this amazing book. Not only
Speaker:will I share with you eight tools that I
Speaker:use for a growth mindset, but I'll also
Speaker:share the applicable principles based on
Speaker:God's word that you can easily implement
Speaker:in your life journey. So no matter where
Speaker:you are and no matter where you see
Speaker:yourself in the future, this book will be
Speaker:a tool that you need for your toolbox.
Speaker:Don't wait. Get it today and it can be
Speaker:found on Amazon by simply searching
Speaker:redefining success eight tools that I use
Speaker:for grow mindset take care of Laquita's
Speaker:toolbox I am your host, Laquita Monly and
Speaker:y'all. It's a thankful Thursday, y'all.
Speaker:And I am really glad to be here because
Speaker:let me tell you, you're going to hear
Speaker:about it in the show. If technical
Speaker:difficulties wasn't a thing, I don't even
Speaker:know if people could do lives because I
Speaker:cannot be the only person that hosts a
Speaker:live that receives technical difficulties
Speaker:before the show. But you know what? We're
Speaker:going to talk about that in a minute. I
Speaker:want to make sure that I take this time to
Speaker:give a very special shout out and thank
Speaker:you to our sponsors of today's episode of
Speaker:Laquita's Toolbox and none other than
Speaker:Covenant press. They are a faith based
Speaker:christian apparel and accessory shop where
Speaker:we as believers can shop online for
Speaker:clothing and accessories that allow us to
Speaker:wear the message of the love of Jesus
Speaker:Christ. Go out to www. Covenant [unk]press
Speaker:com. Again, that's www. Covenant press
Speaker:shop until you drop, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker:But do not click off of those pop ups too
Speaker:quickly because they contain valuable
Speaker:codes. When placed in the appropriate spot
Speaker:at checkout, you can receive some
Speaker:discounts and savings on your purchases
Speaker:with Covenant Press, y'all, is Thursday.
Speaker:We're doing the live, so I'm going to give
Speaker:a minute for everyone to come on into the
Speaker:room across the various social media
Speaker:platforms. You guys know the drill. Those
Speaker:of you that have been with us before, when
Speaker:you come on the live, get something to
Speaker:write with and something to write on
Speaker:because we will be sharing some valuable
Speaker:tools that will help you grow both
Speaker:personally and professionally as well. If
Speaker:this is your first time, please hit that
Speaker:like share and subscribe button because
Speaker:you do not want to miss out on any of our
Speaker:episodes as they drop every Thursday
Speaker:evening. So go ahead, hit those like share
Speaker:and subscribe and let's get this
Speaker:conversation going. Let's get this
Speaker:conversation out to as many people as
Speaker:possible. And y'all, my guest for today is
Speaker:in the studio, Ms. Latoya Nashay. And
Speaker:we're going to do our best to behave, but
Speaker:I can't make anybody any promise. I'm not.
Speaker:So she just said it straight up. She shall
Speaker:not behave today, but we're going to have
Speaker:a good time nonetheless. Come on in the
Speaker:room. Bring your questions, comments,
Speaker:concerns. We'll address them on tonight.
Speaker:Ms. Latoya Niche, how are you doing today,
Speaker:ma'am? I am lovely. How are you, friend? I
Speaker:am good. Friend. I am good. I cannot
Speaker:complain. I can't complain. But what I
Speaker:won't do, I shall not complain. How about
Speaker:that? I shall not complain. Won't change
Speaker:the thing. Won't change the thing. The
Speaker:only people who listen to complaints are
Speaker:the people who ain't going to do nothing
Speaker:about them. The people who can affect
Speaker:change. They don't want to hear you
Speaker:complain. They want to hear you coming up
Speaker:with a solution to your problem to see how
Speaker:they can assist you in solving that
Speaker:problem. Right? That's what I do. I know,
Speaker:right? I listen for the few people that
Speaker:might be listening to this broadcast that
Speaker:might not know who you are. Sincerely,
Speaker:Latoya Nashay. Go ahead and let everybody
Speaker:know who you are, where you're from and
Speaker:what you do. So, yes, I am Latoya Nashay.
Speaker:I reside in the Nashville area. I am an
Speaker:author, speaker, coach and team builder.
Speaker:What else did you ask me? You answered it
Speaker:all. You was like, so you're an author,
Speaker:speaker, coach, team builder, and you're
Speaker:located in Nashville. Look, tell us more
Speaker:about that part of your journey and
Speaker:becoming a speaker and a coach. What
Speaker:pushed you into entrepreneurship and away
Speaker:from corporate? How much time do we have?
Speaker:We got enough. All right, let's try to sum
Speaker:it up. Somehow I stumbled into speaking.
Speaker:That was an accident on my part.
Speaker:Definitely not an accident on God's part.
Speaker:But that's what happened the first time. I
Speaker:mean, I really started speaking, like in
Speaker:elementary school. Complete accident. I
Speaker:just happened to be a really strong
Speaker:writer. So I was getting pushed to the
Speaker:front a lot. But as far as adulthood goes,
Speaker:I remember volunteering with big brother,
Speaker:big sister. And I got invited to one of
Speaker:the Rotary club meetings with the
Speaker:director. He did not let me know in
Speaker:advance that he was going to push me up to
Speaker:the front to tell about my experience, but
Speaker:that's what happened. And so I got up, I
Speaker:did my thing, and checkbooks came out. Got
Speaker:a lot of donations that day. Fast forward
Speaker:a couple of years. And one of my friends,
Speaker:she hosted a women's event, and I was a
Speaker:speaker. I was the youngest on the lineup,
Speaker:and I was the first speaker. And I just
Speaker:remember this lady coming up to me who I
Speaker:didn't know and grabbing me by my hand and
Speaker:praying for me and telling me that I was
Speaker:first out the gate for a reason. And I
Speaker:have not stopped being asked to speak
Speaker:since then. You were first out the gate
Speaker:for a reason. Listen, you were called on
Speaker:to speak for your first time, and
Speaker:checkbooks came out. I called you back,
Speaker:too. Why? You ain't been speaking on my
Speaker:stuff? So some checkbooks can come out.
Speaker:That's all I'm saying. What's the problem?
Speaker:How many times do we reschedule this? I
Speaker:know life be life, and on us, life does
Speaker:life. Look, I see a few people coming in
Speaker:the room. Thank you, twitch, for showing
Speaker:up in the space today and also one of our
Speaker:really good friends. And I'm just thankful
Speaker:that you are the plug, because that's how
Speaker:I came to know this wonderful woman of
Speaker:God. Right, honey? Hey, girl. Taisha is in
Speaker:the house today, joining us from YouTube.
Speaker:Listen, everybody, as you come into the
Speaker:space, please get into the comment
Speaker:section. Let us know who you are and what
Speaker:you do. Today we're going to be talking
Speaker:along the topic of valuing what's
Speaker:valuable. And I have the amazing coach,
Speaker:Latoya Michae, and she is going to be
Speaker:sharing with us some amazing tools that
Speaker:can help us on our journeys, both
Speaker:personally and professionally. So you jump
Speaker:right out the box, man, and into speaking,
Speaker:getting massive results, getting people to
Speaker:pull out those checkbooks and donate,
Speaker:donate, donate. Yes. It was an interesting
Speaker:experience. Yeah, I didn't really think
Speaker:about it. I just said yes. And I just kept
Speaker:saying yes. There was another event right
Speaker:before I moved to middle Tennessee. So
Speaker:this was, like, in West Tennessee, in
Speaker:Paris, Tennessee. I spoke at the church
Speaker:that I was going to at a women's event,
Speaker:and the lady that arranged everything is
Speaker:coming to a close. And she said, are you
Speaker:going to do an altar call? And I was like,
Speaker:yeah. Okay. Never done at all. And I'm
Speaker:expecting, like, one or two people. The
Speaker:altar was full. Wow. Yes. Wow. Come on,
Speaker:now. You must have released some amazing
Speaker:tools on that day as well. We're grateful
Speaker:to God that you did say give your yes. And
Speaker:I know that not only are you a speaker and
Speaker:an author, and you have all of these
Speaker:wonderful hats, but most importantly for
Speaker:you, because you and I share a lot of
Speaker:similarities, and you're all about
Speaker:purpose. And so I know that as the woman
Speaker:of God that you are, whatever you do,
Speaker:you're all about helping people walk and
Speaker:operate in their purpose. So talk to us a
Speaker:little bit about why that is a major
Speaker:motivation for you. Why is that very
Speaker:important for you as a coach, to be able
Speaker:to push people in that direction? And I
Speaker:know you've said this before. Everything
Speaker:hinges on identity. And so that's where it
Speaker:starts. It starts with knowing who you
Speaker:are. But once you know who you are, then
Speaker:you have to learn the why you are. Oh,
Speaker:come on. And there is no fulfillment,
Speaker:there is no peace, no. Just that joy that
Speaker:keeps flowing and keeps going unless we
Speaker:are plugged in and doing the work that we
Speaker:were created to do. I am most alive when
Speaker:I'm doing what I was created to do. So
Speaker:let's do some pretend here for a minute.
Speaker:So I'm your client. I'm your client, and I
Speaker:tell you, how do I know what I'm created
Speaker:to do? I make good money. I have a nice
Speaker:home, a nice car. Family is amazing. Isn't
Speaker:that what I'm supposed to be doing? Like,
Speaker:is there more? Now, how does that
Speaker:conversation start? I would still go back
Speaker:to identity first, and I would say, who
Speaker:are you at the core? Who are you minus
Speaker:your roles and your jobs? Come on. Who are
Speaker:you at the core? Come on. Because whoever
Speaker:you are at the core, that is your true
Speaker:identity. And that was probably attacked
Speaker:somewhere early in life. So that core
Speaker:factor of who we are and our greatest pain
Speaker:have a relationship. And that typically
Speaker:points to purpose. To purpose sitting
Speaker:right at the foundation, the heart of our
Speaker:core values. Those are the things that the
Speaker:enemy comes after to make you question
Speaker:your identity or maybe not even begin to
Speaker:seek it in the first place. Yes. So,
Speaker:truly, everything does hinge on our
Speaker:identity. And I love how you brought out
Speaker:that what we do for a living, how we earn
Speaker:money, might not necessarily be the
Speaker:purpose and the plan that God has for our
Speaker:life. We're earning money because we got
Speaker:bills, but that doesn't define who I am.
Speaker:And we shouldn't get caught up in allowing
Speaker:our secular careers to do that. To define
Speaker:who we are. Absolutely. Sometimes purpose
Speaker:and how you pay your bills, sometimes
Speaker:they're one and the same. Often they are
Speaker:not. Come on. Talk about. My. I believe
Speaker:Jesus left us with three instructions.
Speaker:Love God, love people, make disciples.
Speaker:Yes. Your purpose will reflect those
Speaker:things in some way. And if you think your
Speaker:work is your purpose, make sure. Ask
Speaker:yourself, evaluate. Does my work push me
Speaker:deeper into loving God, loving people,
Speaker:making disciples? If not, that is just
Speaker:your work and not your life's work.
Speaker:There's a difference. That's just your
Speaker:work and not your life's work. My life's
Speaker:work hinges on purpose, hinges on my
Speaker:identity in Christ, the reason that he
Speaker:created me. I love that. I love that. I
Speaker:think that's a good segue into you
Speaker:breaking down. What do you mean? Valuing
Speaker:what's valuable? Because that right there,
Speaker:I know it made some people be like, what's
Speaker:that? And other people might look at us
Speaker:like, I need to know more. Let's break
Speaker:that down. Valuing what's valuable,
Speaker:because it makes me think about the old
Speaker:saying, you don't miss what you got until
Speaker:it's gone. That's right. Come on, talk
Speaker:about it. I believe every coach should
Speaker:have a coach. So I have a coach, and my
Speaker:coach always takes me back to my core
Speaker:values. So now I am programmed to, if I
Speaker:feel some type of shift or internal
Speaker:conflict, if my peace is jeopardized in
Speaker:some way, ten times out of ten, it's
Speaker:because I'm not honoring my core values.
Speaker:Okay? So I've done the work. I know what
Speaker:those core values are. I can tell you they
Speaker:are hearing the voice of God. Peace. I
Speaker:have to have peace time. When I say time,
Speaker:I mean I have to own my time. I have to be
Speaker:able to determine what I do with my hours
Speaker:and my minutes. So we got hearing the
Speaker:voice of God, peace, time. Authentic
Speaker:relationships and discipleship is a part
Speaker:of that, because that is at the core of
Speaker:everything I do. And then communication.
Speaker:Communication, yes. Communication is key.
Speaker:And everything I do involves
Speaker:communication. So in learning to value
Speaker:what is valuable, we have to first go
Speaker:back. It goes back to knowing us. Yes. How
Speaker:do we determine or search, as someone is
Speaker:saying, okay, I hear you, coach Latoya.
Speaker:Core values. And you have a list of them.
Speaker:You have a know, solid list. They're very
Speaker:specific. But I don't know what my core
Speaker:values help. What is something that you
Speaker:can share with us today that will help
Speaker:someone in that search for their core
Speaker:values to understand what their core
Speaker:values are, not things that people put on
Speaker:you all. Let me say that you all first, we
Speaker:better define core values, then tell them
Speaker:how to get it. Let me do that two part
Speaker:question. Define core values and then give
Speaker:them a tip on how to begin to search those
Speaker:out. Okay. So I make up definitions all
Speaker:the time. For me, a core value is
Speaker:something that if you take it away, just
Speaker:one, not even all of them, if you take one
Speaker:of them away, your life will start to
Speaker:unravel. Things will no longer make sense.
Speaker:And it's boiling it down to foundational
Speaker:words because some people might say, well,
Speaker:she didn't say family, but I said
Speaker:relationships, authentic relationships. So
Speaker:it's finding the purest and truest words
Speaker:for you to represent what you need, what
Speaker:carries the most weight for you. My values
Speaker:are not your values. That's good, but
Speaker:that's where it begins. So your values
Speaker:guard your peace, and then your boundaries
Speaker:guard your values. Go ahead, say that
Speaker:again. I sure will. Say that again. Your
Speaker:values guard your peace, and then your
Speaker:boundaries, they guard your core values.
Speaker:My values guard my piece. I can't spell
Speaker:you all. That's why they were supposed to
Speaker:get paper and pen. I hope they're writing
Speaker:it down. I hope they're writing it down,
Speaker:because you waiting on me to type it in
Speaker:the chat. You might be waiting a minute.
Speaker:I'm trying to get there. So your values
Speaker:guard your peace, and. Your peace and your
Speaker:boundaries guard your values. I love that
Speaker:because our peace is important. But having
Speaker:boundaries is important. And I know
Speaker:sometimes in certain situations, having
Speaker:boundaries is frowned upon. Like, we don't
Speaker:quite understand the concept of having
Speaker:boundaries and why it's necessary in our
Speaker:life, and that those boundaries are not
Speaker:just for people we don't know. Right.
Speaker:Those boundaries are for people that we
Speaker:know, love, trust, and maybe even live in
Speaker:the same house with. They are especially
Speaker:for them, actually. Go ahead, talk about
Speaker:it. So what's so amazing and so God, is
Speaker:that I've had both of these conversations
Speaker:today, just on two separate occasions.
Speaker:Yeah. Boundaries are good for everyone.
Speaker:Boundaries set a parameter around what's
Speaker:most important to me. That's how I honor
Speaker:who God created me to be, how I'm supposed
Speaker:to show up in the world, and how I'm
Speaker:supposed to care for myself so that not to
Speaker:be selfish, but so that I can care for
Speaker:other people. I've written a number of
Speaker:books, but in my second book, Princess
Speaker:Mentality, which you can find on Amazon, I
Speaker:talk about how. Get that link for you.
Speaker:Keep talking. There you go. Yeah, go get
Speaker:the link. So there are two water entities
Speaker:in us when we are in relationship with
Speaker:Christ, because we have a whale that never
Speaker:runs dry, and then out of our belly shall
Speaker:flow rivers of living water. Come on. So a
Speaker:well does not have feet. A well is
Speaker:stationary. The well is for me, if I had a
Speaker:well on my property, that would be for me
Speaker:to drink from. So my well is like my
Speaker:secret place. That is my personal
Speaker:relationship with God. And as I abide in
Speaker:the secret place, as I commune with the
Speaker:Father, son, the Holy Spirit, all of them,
Speaker:okay? As I dwell in that place, then my
Speaker:well starts to overflow into a river of
Speaker:living water. We are to minister to other
Speaker:people from our overflow from our river
Speaker:because rivers, they supply whole
Speaker:communities, multiple states, sometimes
Speaker:multiple countries. My river is for
Speaker:everyone. But my whale has a boundary
Speaker:built around. Come on. And if I give and
Speaker:give and give, eventually my river will
Speaker:dry up and I will find myself dipping out
Speaker:of my well for other people. Then my well
Speaker:dries up. Come on. Come on. And when your
Speaker:well dries up, that's when you're in a
Speaker:place of burnout. And when you are burnt
Speaker:out, you're no good for you or anyone
Speaker:else. Or anyone else. Or anyone else. So
Speaker:we have to make sure that we're in a
Speaker:constant place of overflow for these
Speaker:boundaries to be effective. And when you
Speaker:know your boundaries aren't effective,
Speaker:it's when you get to that place of not
Speaker:enough. That place of burnout, because
Speaker:you've not been tapped in to the source
Speaker:because the river is the source of where
Speaker:the water comes from, from the wheel. So
Speaker:you in trouble if you will dry up, but you
Speaker:can still go back to the source of the
Speaker:river and get what you need. Come on, holy
Speaker:ghost. But then if you fool around and
Speaker:just stay out of communion with the Holy
Speaker:Ghost long enough, and then your river dry
Speaker:up, you don't mess around and find out.
Speaker:You're going to mess around and find out.
Speaker:We don't want to do that. We don't want to
Speaker:find out. Look, you all coming into this
Speaker:space, I'm happy to see you. Thank you so
Speaker:much for coming in and supporting the
Speaker:broadcast on tonight. When you come into
Speaker:the room, know that you are welcome.
Speaker:Please hit those like share and subscribe
Speaker:buttons so that you can receive
Speaker:notifications when I come on live every
Speaker:Thursday evening at 07:30 p.m. Central
Speaker:Standard Time across Facebook, LinkedIn,
Speaker:Twitter, Twitch and YouTube. If you've
Speaker:just joined the conversation, having a
Speaker:great conversation with coach Latoya
Speaker:Nashay, that link that you see right there
Speaker:on the video, that is the link, her Amazon
Speaker:link. Run on out to Amazon and just type
Speaker:her name in the search engine on Amazon
Speaker:and you will see all of her books. But
Speaker:that particular link in the comments is
Speaker:for her second book, Princess Mentality.
Speaker:So, look, you've been dropping gems,
Speaker:coach. You've been dropping gems. Some of
Speaker:this stuff, I want you to run back and
Speaker:teach it slow, but I want you to run back
Speaker:and teach it slow. But like you said at
Speaker:the beginning, I don't know we got that
Speaker:kind of time today. So that just says to
Speaker:me, we're going to have to do this again.
Speaker:We're going to do it again so we can keep
Speaker:running that back. It make me miss our
Speaker:podcast. Break out the breakthrough. We
Speaker:might have to break that out again
Speaker:sometime in the near future or the far
Speaker:future. We don't get to it the near or far
Speaker:future. Just know that that podcast is
Speaker:coming back so we can have time to break
Speaker:down conversations like these, because
Speaker:learning to value what is valuable is
Speaker:necessary oftentimes. The other thing when
Speaker:I see that is one of the things that I
Speaker:think of is we have to first value us. We
Speaker:are valuable when we value who we are,
Speaker:when we value our talents, when we value
Speaker:our gifts, when we value our assignment,
Speaker:when we value our anointing, when we value
Speaker:everything that God has blessed us with,
Speaker:then other people will value it, too.
Speaker:Absolutely. Yes. We teach people how to
Speaker:treat us. Come on. That's good. So when I
Speaker:am serious about my peace, when I am
Speaker:serious about my time, my friends know if
Speaker:they are going something somewhere with
Speaker:me, I will leave you if you're not on
Speaker:time, because I don't play about my time
Speaker:at all. Not the self. Don't be late. But
Speaker:if we serve our values, even when other
Speaker:people have different values, we teach
Speaker:them to respect what we value. How those
Speaker:things play a major role in our lives may
Speaker:not be important to them, but they will
Speaker:still honor how it's important to us, to
Speaker:us, because we've done it ourselves. But
Speaker:if I run myself ragged, if I'm always
Speaker:tired, if I'm always giving people, they
Speaker:will keep taking. Come on. Not doing it.
Speaker:We have to value ourselves. So, one thing.
Speaker:Okay, we got another comment right here.
Speaker:She said Taisha says she always scared to
Speaker:be late when she coming with you. I was
Speaker:with Taisha earlier today, and she was on
Speaker:time. Okay. Don't be late. That's what I
Speaker:hear you say. Don't be late. But valuing
Speaker:the things that are valuable, when you say
Speaker:that again, talk to us a little bit more
Speaker:about valuing what's valuable. Now we
Speaker:understand the importance of valuing
Speaker:ourselves. What about the importance of
Speaker:valuing those that the Lord has brought
Speaker:into our. Yeah, yeah. Resources flow
Speaker:through relationships. And I'll be talking
Speaker:about this soon on this. Resources flow
Speaker:through relationships. You know Taisha
Speaker:because you know me, but you know me
Speaker:because I know Myra. So it's all of these
Speaker:connections. And so when you show up as
Speaker:your authentic self and people can predict
Speaker:how you're going to be, when they know
Speaker:that you're going to be the same person in
Speaker:every single space on every single day,
Speaker:not to say that life doesn't happen, but
Speaker:you are still consistently you. Yes.
Speaker:People will take your name into rooms.
Speaker:Come on. Come on. Say that. Come on. Yes.
Speaker:Because they know when they send your name
Speaker:into those rooms, when they speak on your
Speaker:behalf, when you are invited into those
Speaker:rooms, you are going to show up as that
Speaker:same person. And so if I want to be
Speaker:valued, then I should value other people.
Speaker:I should esteem other people. I have
Speaker:several people who cover me, who pray for
Speaker:me, who pour into me that I can call with
Speaker:the worst of the worst and know that I'm
Speaker:not going to be judged. And so when those
Speaker:people send me an email that gets lost,
Speaker:and then they call me and like, hey, did
Speaker:you get my email about being on my
Speaker:podcast? The answer is yes. Not naming any
Speaker:names. The answer is yes. Like, there are
Speaker:some people that you would just move
Speaker:heaven and earth for because you value the
Speaker:place that they hold in your life. And so,
Speaker:yeah, I value you, and. I value you as
Speaker:well, friend. But you hit so many
Speaker:proverbial nails on the head in that.
Speaker:Because when we devalue others, what we're
Speaker:in essence doing is we're devaluing
Speaker:ourselves. When we don't recognize the
Speaker:value in the people that the Lord has
Speaker:placed in our lives, then we're doing
Speaker:ourselves a disservice, because life is
Speaker:about reciprocal relationships. It's all
Speaker:about reciprocity. And if the Lord has
Speaker:found me worthy for this person to be
Speaker:brought into my life, because that's how I
Speaker:see it, if he has found me worthy to allow
Speaker:this person to show up in my space, then I
Speaker:need to have the wherewithal to recognize
Speaker:the gifts and the talents within this
Speaker:individual and that they can pour into me
Speaker:likewise, that I could pour into them.
Speaker:Absolutely. It doesn't matter the
Speaker:relationship. It could be a discipleship
Speaker:relationship. It could be someone that you
Speaker:are mentoring and you're the mentor. They
Speaker:are the mentee. They have something of
Speaker:value that they can bring into your life.
Speaker:And so we can't be a respecter of persons,
Speaker:but we have to learn how to value what's
Speaker:valuable and other people's time, energy,
Speaker:effort, their presence is valuable, and we
Speaker:have to honor that and value that. I love
Speaker:this conversation. I love this
Speaker:conversation. So give us another point.
Speaker:Give us a point. Number three, on the
Speaker:importance of learning to value what's
Speaker:valuable. So I actually want to go into
Speaker:what you just said about that mentor
Speaker:mentee relationship. Yes. Not thinking so
Speaker:highly of yourself that I would never
Speaker:assume that my mentees, my disciples can't
Speaker:pour into me some type of way or that I
Speaker:can't glean jewels from their lives. One
Speaker:of the most fulfilling things is getting
Speaker:to watch them grow. Sunday. I have a 20
Speaker:year old mentee, and she's getting
Speaker:baptized on Sunday. Right. And I've
Speaker:watched her grow over this past year. It's
Speaker:been amazing. It's been amazing to watch.
Speaker:But when you know someone is watching your
Speaker:life, it makes you mindful of how you live
Speaker:your life. Come on. And so who am I to
Speaker:tell her that she needs healthy
Speaker:boundaries? Who am I to tell her that she
Speaker:needs to learn how to say no and then I
Speaker:not do those things? Come on. That's real
Speaker:good. That's real good. Inviting others
Speaker:into your life, to walk with you, to even
Speaker:come up behind you, keeps you on your
Speaker:toes. Yes, it does. Keeps you on your
Speaker:toes. We're valuing what's valuable people
Speaker:have got if you've just come into the
Speaker:space. We're talking about learning to
Speaker:value what is valuable. And in that mentor
Speaker:mentee relationship, the life and the
Speaker:gifts and the anointing of the person that
Speaker:you're mentoring, the person that you're
Speaker:discipling is valuable. So that will make
Speaker:you want a mental check on yourself, on
Speaker:the regular, to make sure I have myself
Speaker:together so that I can show up and be the
Speaker:best version of me possible for that
Speaker:person. And let me go ahead and stop any
Speaker:negative thinking of anybody that might be
Speaker:watching this on the live or the replay.
Speaker:When I say show up as the best version of
Speaker:yourself, I'm not talking about faking it
Speaker:till you make it. I'm not talking people
Speaker:see through that. The only person that
Speaker:don't see through that is the individual
Speaker:that's trying to do it. Okay. I'm not
Speaker:talking about faking it till you make it.
Speaker:I'm not talking about pretending all is
Speaker:well when all is not. What I'm talking
Speaker:about is being authentically you and being
Speaker:that best version of that possible at all
Speaker:times, because that's how we grow. That's
Speaker:how you will grow in character, in
Speaker:giftings, and anointings that's how the
Speaker:person that you are mentoring will grow in
Speaker:character and giftings and anointings.
Speaker:Because somebody's always watching us,
Speaker:right? Absolutely. Go ahead. The authentic
Speaker:you will attract the right people. Come
Speaker:on, say that again. The authentic you will
Speaker:attract you. The authentic me will attract
Speaker:the right. People because your people will
Speaker:check you. The people who are supposed to
Speaker:be closest to you in your inner circle,
Speaker:they will check you. They will ask you
Speaker:questions. They will remind you of what
Speaker:your values are. They will remind you of
Speaker:what it is that you said you will do. They
Speaker:hold you accountable. Come on, say that
Speaker:word again. Say that word again. Yes. The
Speaker:right people will hold you accountable. So
Speaker:if you're surrounded by people who say yes
Speaker:all the time and they never challenge you,
Speaker:they never ask clarifying questions, those
Speaker:are probably the same people who are
Speaker:sucking you dry. Oh, say that. Say that.
Speaker:Say that. They don't want you to have
Speaker:boundaries because they want to use you
Speaker:up. Come on, say that. This is what
Speaker:happens when we don't have notes. We are
Speaker:winging, y'all. I just want to make that
Speaker:clear. We up here just free flowing. There
Speaker:are no notes. Chris said big facts. And
Speaker:it's true. When we show up as our
Speaker:authentic selves, those individuals that
Speaker:God has already divinely designed and
Speaker:created to be in our lives, they show up.
Speaker:Matter of fact, most of the time, they've
Speaker:been around the whole time. We were not
Speaker:just at a place in maturity, spiritual
Speaker:maturity or natural maturity, that we
Speaker:could recognize them because they
Speaker:challenged us. When someone challenges,
Speaker:like when you're an immature person, you
Speaker:don't know how to value what's valuable,
Speaker:because you yourself have not learned what
Speaker:is valuable, that starts right there. So
Speaker:when I don't understand what is valuable,
Speaker:when I see people who are living in a
Speaker:different level of success, whatever
Speaker:success might be, I'm not even talking
Speaker:about money. You all not talking about
Speaker:money. But when you see someone and you
Speaker:have discerned that they have success,
Speaker:when you're immature, we'll name call, we
Speaker:will judge without even knowing them.
Speaker:We'll look at their appearance, call them
Speaker:pretentious, call them Bougie. They think
Speaker:they're better than this person or that
Speaker:person, or you're too good to come here or
Speaker:do that. Absolutely. I think I'm too good
Speaker:for that. Matter of fact, I don't think I
Speaker:know it. When you're immature, that's the
Speaker:type of response you have for people. Or
Speaker:if you come to that person and they push
Speaker:you to accountability and push you to
Speaker:figure out a problem instead of saying,
Speaker:oh, baby, it's going to be all right and
Speaker:pat you on the back and just be there to
Speaker:be your sounding board. We run from them
Speaker:when we're immature. Right. But when we're
Speaker:mature, we understand the value that they
Speaker:carry and the wisdom that they carry. So
Speaker:I'm running to them. Yes, absolutely.
Speaker:Already knowing they're going to say
Speaker:something that's going to make me go,
Speaker:ouch. But I need to hear it. Absolutely.
Speaker:Come on, lean into the accountability,
Speaker:lean into the stretching, because it makes
Speaker:us better. And those who truly love us,
Speaker:those who see the value in us, yes, they
Speaker:stretch, they question, they push, and
Speaker:it's all in love. And there is great
Speaker:there, but they want to see us become the
Speaker:best version of ourselves. Right. Those
Speaker:who are comfortable and complacent want
Speaker:you to be comfortable and complacent. Come
Speaker:on. Say that. They don't want to see you
Speaker:stretch. They don't want to see you grow.
Speaker:And the thing is, it may not even be
Speaker:completely malicious and intentional on
Speaker:their part. They're just not going in the
Speaker:direction that you're going. Absolutely.
Speaker:They're not ready yet to move in that
Speaker:direction that they want, that they should
Speaker:be going. They're not ready. Yes. And
Speaker:that's absolutely okay. But what I know to
Speaker:be true is just like, if I'm serving my
Speaker:values and I am being my most authentic
Speaker:self and I am attracting the people that
Speaker:are supposed to be in my life when I'm not
Speaker:doing those things, when I am not serving
Speaker:my values, when I'm not being my most
Speaker:authentic self, I am going to draw in all
Speaker:the leeches. Come on. And hold them close
Speaker:to my heart and wonder why I'm getting
Speaker:bit. Say that. Say that. Come on. Either.
Speaker:That wasn't in your notes. I love it,
Speaker:though. I told you, you can run back
Speaker:several things that you said and we can
Speaker:talk about for a while because we
Speaker:ourselves have to be ready. We have to
Speaker:recognize who people. Maya Angelou. I love
Speaker:to say this. When people show you who they
Speaker:are, believe them. Yes. No shade, no tea.
Speaker:It's not me. It's not you. It's me. You're
Speaker:showing up and showing me exactly who you
Speaker:are. Ongoing lesson, too. Come on. Because
Speaker:there are people that we don't want to see
Speaker:them for who they are. We want to become
Speaker:infatuated with their potential. Oh, you
Speaker:better tell that. Can't even say that. If
Speaker:I say that, I might get in trouble. I'm
Speaker:37, so I round up to 40. So at this big
Speaker:grown age, what I'm not going to do, what
Speaker:I refuse to do, is fall in love with
Speaker:potential. Come on. Who are you now? Can I
Speaker:rock with you on the level that you are
Speaker:now? Now you may grow, but that is a
Speaker:choice if you choose to not grow. Am I
Speaker:good with where you are now? Is where you
Speaker:are healthy for me. Come on. Come on,
Speaker:girl. You better say that. No, then you
Speaker:got to go. Don't fall in love with the
Speaker:potential. I love that. I love that. Now,
Speaker:somebody might be hearing this on the live
Speaker:and on the replay and have some spicy
Speaker:stuff to say about it. Go jump in the
Speaker:comments. Let me hear what you got to say.
Speaker:I probably won't agree with it, but.
Speaker:Younger, I don't really care. Oh, my God.
Speaker:Live a little. She said, if you're 35 or
Speaker:younger, it don't matter. Look, they do
Speaker:got a lot of living to do. But sitting in
Speaker:this side of my maturity, sitting in this
Speaker:side of my maturity, I completely
Speaker:understand. I can see, bless God, we have
Speaker:the gift of discernment and we're able to
Speaker:see spiritually, we can see a person's
Speaker:potential. But just what you said, is that
Speaker:person willing to step into their
Speaker:potential? Yes. Miles Monroe. And I'm a
Speaker:paraphrase that y'all suggest. If you
Speaker:don't have anything by him, run out and
Speaker:get it now, because it's timeless, all of
Speaker:it. One of the things that he said, and
Speaker:I'm paraphrasing, is the graveyard holds
Speaker:some of the most valuable things on the
Speaker:planet. But it's dead with the people in
Speaker:the graveyard because they did not rise up
Speaker:to their potential. They wouldn't even
Speaker:recognize it. They didn't want to do the
Speaker:work. Some of that is words I'm putting in
Speaker:his mouth that he didn't say that.
Speaker:Basically, he talked about the potential
Speaker:that was within each person that is gone,
Speaker:that has passed on. Did they live to that
Speaker:potential? And because when we live to
Speaker:that potential, not only is it fulfilling
Speaker:for us as individuals, but we are to truly
Speaker:touch the lives of other people when we're
Speaker:living up to our potential. So if the
Speaker:person that I'm partnering with, and this
Speaker:is platonic as well as romantic, if the
Speaker:person that I'm partnering with is not
Speaker:living to their potential, better yet, if
Speaker:they're not making efforts, strides to
Speaker:live to their potential, you got to weigh
Speaker:the value of that relationship. Yes. I'm
Speaker:not saying cut them off and throw them in
Speaker:the trash. That's what I'm not saying
Speaker:that. But we do have to evaluate where we
Speaker:place them in our lives. Absolutely. The
Speaker:people that have the greatest access to us
Speaker:should be the people who are not only
Speaker:making withdrawals, but they're making
Speaker:worthwhile deposits. That's good. Are they
Speaker:living to their potential? Like I have a
Speaker:boatload of potential. Am I living up to
Speaker:the fullest of my potential? No. But am I
Speaker:making strides to get there? Every day
Speaker:that ends in why. Every day that ends in
Speaker:why I am trying to make strides to get
Speaker:there. Why? Because I'm learning daily how
Speaker:to value what's valuable. There's a pastor
Speaker:in Murray, Kentucky, Dr. Art Hines, and I
Speaker:remember him saying a lot that we sink to
Speaker:the level of the lowest common
Speaker:denominator. Jesus. We sink to the level
Speaker:of the lowest common denominator. My God.
Speaker:In other words, a chain is only as strong
Speaker:as its weakest link. So we have to
Speaker:examine, like you said, those who have the
Speaker:most access to us. Real good. We have to
Speaker:examine. They are weak links. Take them
Speaker:off of your chain and you may not put them
Speaker:out the yard. They just can't be a part of
Speaker:the chain. Come on. They could be over by
Speaker:the shed or something like that. Not
Speaker:totally off the property, but not in the
Speaker:mix of what you're trying to accomplish.
Speaker:What you're trying to accomplish.
Speaker:Absolutely. And proximity changes from
Speaker:season to season. Clap my hands. The boy
Speaker:don't have to edit that out. I'm supposed
Speaker:to get the clap the hand sound in my
Speaker:little pod. Pro thingy, roll castor
Speaker:thingy. My son's supposed to be putting
Speaker:that in there for me. So I won't clap my
Speaker:hands for real. But I always forget it.
Speaker:Always forget when he's here. We'll talk
Speaker:about it, and I'll forget when he's here.
Speaker:But that's a beautiful thing. You don't
Speaker:have to necessarily kick them off the
Speaker:property. You just have to determine where
Speaker:they are, where they're placed in your
Speaker:life. You know that. I like to use a
Speaker:scenario with a dartboard. Everything on
Speaker:the dartboard, every section on the
Speaker:dartboard, has a numerical value. Even the
Speaker:ones that's on the furthest on the
Speaker:outside. But the closest you get to that
Speaker:bullseye, the numerical value increases,
Speaker:but the spaces become smaller. So you
Speaker:can't fit as many darts in those spaces as
Speaker:you can those big spaces on that outer
Speaker:circle. And then when you get into the
Speaker:inner circle, into the bullseye, the money
Speaker:shot. Very few darts can fit in there. We
Speaker:have to learn how to place people
Speaker:strategically on the dartboard. That is
Speaker:our life. Yes. So this is where the
Speaker:science geek in me comes. I have a biology
Speaker:degree that I do not use you all. So let's
Speaker:be clear about that. Don't want to use it,
Speaker:but I have it. And so when it comes to
Speaker:relationships, I always think of an atom
Speaker:and how an atom has these electron valence
Speaker:shells. So in the center, where you have
Speaker:the nucleus, that first valence shell,
Speaker:only two electrons can fit on it. It only
Speaker:have two, and electrons have a negative
Speaker:charge. You can't have that much
Speaker:negativity close to you. Come on. You just
Speaker:can't say that. No. Electrons into your
Speaker:space. And they may not be negative in
Speaker:terms of their speech. Their lives may
Speaker:just be repelling against your life. Come
Speaker:on. Now, see, that's a whole lesson that
Speaker:you need to teach, man. How can two walk
Speaker:together unless they be agreed? Come on.
Speaker:Come on. That part right there, they could
Speaker:be. That's the word. That could be the
Speaker:nicest, sweetest, most morally correct
Speaker:person. But is that the person God created
Speaker:for you? Now, we don't want to jumped off
Speaker:into relationships. We go come back and do
Speaker:a relationship show. We go back and do a
Speaker:relationship. I'm kind of closer. I mean,
Speaker:we are talking about valuing what's
Speaker:valuable. It's true. We cannot function
Speaker:with that level of negativity in our
Speaker:personal space all the time. And some
Speaker:negativity is going to come in here and
Speaker:there, but we have to recognize it and
Speaker:deal with it accordingly. Don't just let
Speaker:it live with you and hug you and hold you
Speaker:all the time. If you see that person
Speaker:coming and you shut and be like, Jesus,
Speaker:fix it. You might want to check that. If
Speaker:you see their number or their text message
Speaker:and you are willing to leave them on
Speaker:unread for three days, you might want to
Speaker:check that. Yeah, you might want to
Speaker:evaluate forever that part. Yeah, I like
Speaker:blocking. I block a lot. If that's their
Speaker:go to reaction with them, you need to
Speaker:evaluate the proximity that they have to.
Speaker:You need to evaluate them in your life. We
Speaker:have a LinkedIn comment says, just mute
Speaker:them. I like that. That works. We could
Speaker:just mute them. That works. We wouldn't
Speaker:even have to go through all of that. If we
Speaker:do take a proper evaluation on the people
Speaker:who we allow into our lives and placing
Speaker:them in the proper places in our lives,
Speaker:because some people, especially people
Speaker:who, you know, okay, I've been
Speaker:commissioned to help that person grow.
Speaker:That person needs to have access to you,
Speaker:but we have to qualify that type of
Speaker:access. Right. When they get that access,
Speaker:how they get that access, how are you
Speaker:going to deposit? How are you going to
Speaker:mentor them in development? It's a
Speaker:process. We need to know how to do that
Speaker:appropriately. We don't necessarily need
Speaker:to let them be in our personal space all
Speaker:the time. And that's where boundaries come
Speaker:in. That's absolutely where boundaries
Speaker:come in and. Do not disturb on your phone,
Speaker:like use your technology. My DND is on
:00 p.m. To 06:00 a.m.. I select
:cubes. Oh, I'm sorry. We did have this
:conversation, didn't we? I'm that
:somebody. I sleep great. I am that
:somebody. It works. It does work. You will
:effectively not be bothered, but in the
:event of emergency, they might need to
:reach you. Girl. You don't know until you
:answer the phone. My parents can get
:through. There we go. There we go. Outside
:of that, it's going to wait till 06:00
:a.m. It's going to wait till 06:00 a.m.
:This is an ongoing conversation and we're
:going to have to. I see now needs a little
:bit more push in what I hope is a good
:direction. Yeah, I know you ain't
:listening to me, but I'm going to keep
:saying it. Keep saying that I have to. Our
:time has come to an end. As always. I love
:talking to you. I love the wisdom and the
:value that you have to share. Before we do
:wrap up, is there one last thing that you
:would like to leave with the toolbox
:audience, especially your contact
:information? Yes. So you can go to my
:website, latoyanache.com. You see how to
:spell my name on the screen. Just put www
:dot in front of it and.com after it and
:you'll get there. If you go there is a pop
:up. Sign up for my newsletter and you will
:get a free PDF about doing a SWOT analysis
:on your community. So identifying the
:strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and
:threats in your community. I'm telling
:you, it will bless your life. You all
:better get out there. I'm trying to get
:them to go to latoyunashay.com. Now I'm
:curious. I need a SWAT analysis on my
:community. I do it on my business and I do
:it on myself. You want to talk to me
:offline about this community? We're going
:to talk about your swot analysis when we
:get off. I know what you're going to say.
:Going to be doable. Anywho, my final
:thought is there's a lot of talk about
:safe spaces and creating safe spaces. And
:I love that those conversations are
:happening. But what I will say is you can
:create your own safe space. Don't put all
:the responsibility on someone to do that
:for you. You can do it for yourself. And
:that starts with identifying your core
:values and then building your boundaries
:around them. That's beautiful. Create your
:own safe space by starting with clearly
:defining your core values and building
:boundaries around yourself based on those
:core values. And you have created your own
:safe space that you recognize and respect
:and others will recognize and respect as
:well. I love that. Woman of God. Thank you
:so much for being a great guest tonight.
:As always, we're going to have to do a
:part two real soon. For real. We're going
:to have to do a part two real soon.
:Listen, guys, thank you so much for tuning
:in to another amazing episode of Laquita's
:Toolbox. I am your host, Laquita Monley.
:We have had an amazing session on tonight.
:You guys be blessed and enjoy an amazing
:rest of your day. Take care. Look at here.
:Take care. Bye, y'all. Everything hinges
:on identity. It is the compass of our
:faith that aligns with the Holy Spirit to
:fulfill the father's will. Wrapped up in
:identity is who we are, the purpose of our
:being, and every God breathed promise that
:manifests as our success. Hello, I'm
:Laquita Monly, and I'm the author of
:redefining success eight tools that I use
:to develop a growth mindset in this
:amazing book. Not only will I share with
:you eight tools that I use for a growth
:mindset, but I'll also share the
:applicable principles based on God's word
:that you could easily implement in your
:life journey. So no matter where you are
:and no matter where you see yourself in
:the future, this book will be a tool that
:you need for your toolbox. Don't wait. Get
:it today. And it can be found on Amazon by
:simply searching. Redefining success eight
:tools that I use for growth mindset. Take
